shard of glass

in close inspection, i found a small shard of glass on my foot. it wasnt at all big, even miniscule in standards. but a foreign object embeded on my skin is something. 

i'm in reflection and contemplation of my past few days and the image staring back at me isnt exactly pleasing. M. would say I'm giving in to my negative leanings, looking at my life in a glass-is-half-empty kind of way. but i'm a planner, i organize to the last details. and in the last minute my plans are falling apart. like a glass shard, something external has disrupted the normal flowings of my life. i'm entitled to feeling disappointed I think. and i'm happy to say that I'm learning to let go of things I can't control at an easier rate. 

as I said good bye to M. this fternoon, when he dropped me off after the party, there was this unsettling feeling in me. a part felt unappreciated, like I was an after thought. Ofcourse I know he doesnt mean to, not even close to being his intention. But there are times when i do feel like an annotation instead of the main read. he has this vast life here, something that is completely mapped out and I'm the new element. Perhaps these are just unfounded fears, getting to learn more about the life we're building together. so i push these kinda of pessimistic thoughts aside and focus, as he has repeatedly told me, on the fruits of our togetherness. 

it's just sometimes there are these small shards of glass that puncture the otherwise rosy bubble. maybe these foreign object are necesary. perhaps needed. i just need time to adjust.