It's All Coming Back to Me Now

the first time i hear Marion Raven sing what when she was still part of the pop group M2M in the early 90's. Her songs include "Mirror Mirro" and "Pretty Boy". I fell in love with her voice then, the way it was so fluid and cool. It seemed so effortless for her to raise her voice to such high notes when it took me soo much effort and practice to falsetto the notes she was singing. Unfortunately her tandem of M2M disbanded early 2000's and we haven't heard her sing since then.

that was until i browsed through MTV in 2007 and she was in a duet with Meat Loaf, singing one of my favorite Celine Dion songs. "It's All Coming Back to Me Now". Her voice has matured since then, it's no longer so high and screech-y but has more depth now. It still has retained the fluidity making it a realy heart stopping effect. Hearing her sing reminded me of my childhood, as so much has done these past few days. I am yet to download Hanson and their Mmmbop, plus the Moffats. I dont know where this drive to build up my 90's soundtrack. Perhaps because I really don't get to talk to my sister about this. This was before her time. And it's something I have in common with M.. 

A little while ago, in the car, my mom asked me what do i actually have to talk about with M., what could we possibly have in common if by terms of age we are eons apart. I told her, amazingly we do have  a lot to talk about. I have always found it easier to relate with older people, as proof of this a lot of my friends are older than me. Ate Kathy, eric, vic, gelo, pep, ate tish, ate tin are just a few names to mention. I just seem more comfortable in an atmosphere where i can converse intellectually. being with people my age makes me sometimes feel so gauche and inapporpriate. when i am with those who are relatively more advanced in years, if not in spirit, i feel more at home, more at ease. M. and I talk about a lot of things. I wouldn't be in this relationship if we had nothing in common. Perhaps that is one of the reasons why I'm so happy now. I found it so hard to relate with past loves because they were younger than me and were interested in things that i found trivial like computer games or basketball. They didnt seem to feed a further purpose to me unlike businesses or work does. They didn't seem fruitful and more importantly they felt childish. That is not to say I don't have an inner child myself. With my older friends I seem childish to them, childlike perhaps. someone they could mold or corrupt whatever the case may be. I was and am someone they mother or father. Someone they care for, and I hunger for that kind of attention. Most often I am the care giver and I know all too well the demands of such a positions asks. It is an especially unfulfilling one when the love you give is not reciprocated. 

Perhaps what I am trying to say is, remeniscing about my childhood offers me a glimspe of what I was like. Makes me see my mistakes, my triumphs. And at a dawn of a new year, a year that is going to alter what I know is reality for me now, it's time to make some changes. Graduation seems to be just around the corner. For the first time in 15 years I wont be enrolling in June, I wont have to wake up early for classes nor will I be even going to a school. Things are going to seem so different now, and growing up is the only way to go. 

[Boy:] There were nights when the wind was so cold 

That my body froze in bed if I just listened to it right outside the window 

[Girl:] There were days when the sun was so cruel 

That all the tears turned to dust and I just knew my eyes were drying up forever 

[Both:] 

I finished crying in the instant that you left 

And I can't remember where or when or how 

And I banished every memory you and I have ever made 

[Boy:] 

But when you touch me like this (touch me like this) 

And you hold me like that (hold me like that) 

I just have to admit that it's all coming back to me 

When I touch you like this (touch you like this) 

And I hold you like that (hold you like that) 

It's so hard to believe but it's all coming back to me now 

[Girl:] 

It's all coming back 

It's all coming back to me now 

[Boy:] 

There were moments of gold and there were flashes of light 

There were things I'd never do again but then they'd always seemed right 

There were nights of endless pleasure 

It was more than any laws allow-baby, baby! 

If I kiss you like this (kiss you like this) 

And if you whisper like that (whisper like that) 

It was lost long ago but it's all coming back to me 

If you want me like this (if you want me like this) 

And if you need me like that (if you need me like that) 

It was dead long ago but it's all coming back to me 

It's so hard to resist and it's all coming back to me 

I can barely recall, but it's all coming back to me now.... 

But you were history with the slamming of the door 

And I made myself so strong again somehow 

And I never wasted any of my time on you since then! 

But if I touch you like this (touch you like this) 

And if you kiss me like that (kiss me like that) 

It was so long ago but it's all coming back to me 

If you touch me like this (touch me like this) 

And if I kiss you like that (kiss you like that) 

It was gone with the wind but it's all coming back to me now 

[Girl:] 

It's all coming back 

It's all coming back to me now 

[Boy:] 

There were moments of gold and there were flashes of light 

There were things we'd never do again but they'd always seemed right 

There were nights of endless pleasure 

It was more than all your laws allow-baby, baby, baby! 

When you touch me like this (touch me like this) 

And when you hold me like that (hold me like that) 

It was gone with the wind but it's all coming back to me 

When you see me like this (see me like this) 

And when I see you like that (see you like that) 

Then we see what we want to see-all coming back to me 

The flesh and the fantasies-all coming back to me 

I can barley recall, but it's all coming back to me now.... 

If you forgive me all this (forgive me all this) 

If I forgive you all that (forgive you all that) 

We forgive and forget and it's all coming back to me now 

[Girl:] It's all coming back to me now 

[Boy:] We forgive and forget 

[Both:] And it's all comïng back to me now....