i know it's been quite a while since i last wrote. i've been neglectful of my writing skills and it took someone's simple praise to get the energies flowing once more.
i think that my writing has been greatly affected by my relationship with God. when i am not close with God, i dont write. vise versa. and i think in this push comes to shove kind of world, God is shoving me. there are signs everywhere and i just have been very guilty of being blind.
i do not know if i have been given the gift of vision but i have seen visions. and i claim in faith that these visions have come from God. and in one particular vision he promised me atop a precipice that He will lay at my feet, as well as the Youth's, the desires of my heart. and i believe that these have been coming true. it has been revealed to me, in numerous ways that there is a greater power before me. there is something majestical and awe-ful working in my life.
he has made me a shepherd. in the recently concluded Life in the Spirit Seminar i was called to be his undershepherd. i had a lot of reservations as well as hope for this challenge and mission. but i let it all be. there is a different experience, one i find hard to explain, when you find yourself inside that church during the baptism. when you no longer in the prayer wall, nor are you a catcher, nor are you a lamb-- but a shepherd. there is a different responsibility riding on your shoulders and as a first timer i found it exhilarating. praying over my two lambs, and having my mentor ride beside me, and God all around me, made it feel special-- supportive and nurturing.
he made me sing. i recently found out i made it into praise. after four years of desiring and four years of apprehension. i made it. i have always been afraid of auditioning. even after one way and the training it required of me. i still was not confident in myself and my ability to sing. i know i am not as good as all the other people. not even as good as those that auditioned. (and still do think it will take a while for me to be anywhere near good) but i have been accepted. and there must have been a reason why. there must have been something, i dont know what, that they saw was worth the chance. and i continue to pray that i will change and be changed to be "good" at what praise is.
he has made me survive college. my major has not always been something that i have loved. into my fourth year, and final year, i find that this sometimes love-hate relationship between my major and myself is not slowly coming into an end. what have i learned? what have i become? management economics has not just taught me the rigors of accounting, finance, operations management, marketing, development economics, microeconomics, macroeconomics and what have you. it has also taught me the discipline of nurturing friendships, the courage to travel unchartered waters, the perseverance to see things through, the importance of legacy and the joy of attaining excellence. i may never make it to the dean's list. i may never know what it's like to live so close to school. i may miss block hang outs. but this school, that has taken and given so much, has molded me into someone who is not only well trained to enter the profession of my choice but has equipped me to become "...a person for others" in "Lux in Domino".
these are my blessings upon blessings. these are my joys upon joys.
