compartments

ever wonder why life, or reality for that matter, always has to be organized? everything has to have it's place, everything has to have an order. at a very young age, it was impressed upon us that things, or whatever object, must have an arrangement. you'll see us lined-up by height, divided into girls or boys, categorized by age and so much more. homework exercises would be to arrange things from biggest to smallest, from first to last-- the list is positively endless.

it doesnt get any easier when we grow up, people will still be separated by sex in the MRT, offices are compartmentalized, drawers were invented, dividers created. why must there be compartments? can't live just be one big, hazy, lovely MESS?

ive always prided myself in being a very organized person, to the point that i'm a mild case of OCB. i have everything you could possibly need in my pencil case, my notes have margins, everything has to look aesthetically (if not symmetrically) beautiful. you could say clutter of any kind is an enemy of mine.

but im realizing, life is beautiful with a little mess. it shouldnt always be spik'n'span all the time, in fact relish the nitty gritty of it. pain and hurts shouldnt be thrown away like garbage, or forcefully placed in drawers underneath all the paper work. what i'm saying is that, pain and hurt, albeit being ugly is not to be discarded but faced--and fazed. true courage, i must add, isnt found in the ability to hide the pain so cleverly but the ability to admit to it and finally conquer it.

our hearts have compartments. that cannot be denied. and it does help to put things in order and perspective. but perhaps before you forever hide an embarrassing instance in the dark recesses of your mind, look at it--stare at it--trace the cracks and scratches, remember it and LEARN from it, then finally--push it in a tiny box to be hidden forever.

as some people have said, the only was to stop history from repeating itself is to learn from past mistakes.