mirabilia

it's raining now. "Dreamsounds" songs are playing in my iTunes and i just had a fruitful day. it brings me back to the old days..high school days. those days when i was going through puppy love and every love song written by man were heard by my ears.

i just had a friendly "date" with Ivan tonight. and even if nothing went as planned (it was traffic and one last chance was sold out) we had fun. that's how it is between us. so easy, so carefree, so pressure-less, so free. there is nothing the other doesn't know about. and because of the many years of friendship between us there is that ease i find in no one else. we were laughing over the most mundane things while having dinner in pancake house. this is the kind of friendship that doesnt demand anything from the other person; it is limitless. we share even the most private of things...love life, sexual life, family life...name it we've talked about it. and while watching super bad we were shrieking and laughing. you know if this was a real date i would've been wondering if was too boisterous that i was turning off the guy. if it's ivan it doesnt matter! id squeeze his arms when i was getting scared...and yes i squeezed hard...but he didnt care. we held hands, hugged...acted as if we were a couple...but i didnt feel kilig (thank god) i felt comfort. it's been a long time a guy just hugged me like that...so safe.

as the different love songs play now i remember how we got to where we are now. the friendship, the courtship, the relationship, the end...and now the (best) friendship. im happy he was given to me. God does really provide for all the facets of your life. he gave me someone who will take care of the really painful, disgusting, joyful, wonderful parts of my life. in short he has give me a soul mate who kn ows me perhaps even better than i know myself. and for that i am THANKFUL.